I Am Home

Musings from my diary..

This past weekend I journeyed over 1100 miles down and back in search of the ever illusive Home.

I did not find what I was looking for. I found something far better.

I went looking for a home outside of myself. I went in search of the place, the piece of land, the people, the environment that made me feel safe and secure and comfortable.

I didn't find that.

Instead, this search that I have honestly been on for most of my life because I haven't ever really felt at home anywhere I have lived, ended.

It ended as I came Home to myself.

I found myself in a new city with a friend that I didn't really know very well and I was overcome with inner peace as I got dressed not for anyone else, but myself. I put makeup for myself and I felt beautiful. For myself.

I met this friend and was the most grounded, present, joyful, full of light, balanced version of myself I have ever been. I was overcome with confidence and self-empowerment. I was me. The self I have always been and was always meant to be, but that was hidden under the fear of rejection and loneliness and worry of being accepted and loved.

Because I didn't need anything from my friend, I was full and able to be wholly myself without doubt, without question, without worry.

There was a sadness in parting with my friend because I don't think he knew what he had just witnessed and my soul was and is eternally grateful for that opportunity his soul gave me; the opportunity to shine.

When I got home I cried as I took my make up off. Not because of any sadness in relation to my friend or really any sadness at all. I was so proud of myself for how far I have come and for all that I have done and endured that got me to that very point.

As I came Home to myself in a way I never knew was possible, I fell in love with myself from a place of deep joy and gratitude. Every moment of pain and difficulty brought me here.

My EGO thought this journey was going one way when in all actuality Life had other plans. It always does.

Now I am Home and this can never be taken from me. Never. The safety and security I feel within myself will never be taken because I know how valuable it is; how valuable I am.

I am Home.

Blessings,
Heather

P.S. I hold dear the conversations I have with my community. Send me an Instagram DM @dr.wayshower or leave a comment here if you have any reflections to share, or if this was especially insightful for you!